Real Life

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I’ve climbed the highest mountain,

Dived down in the deepest sea,

Run with bulls around a fountain,

Swung like Tarzan from a tree.

 

I’ve jammed with Bono and Bieber,

Done recitals of Liszt and Mozart,

Gave sermons to many a believer,

Like Picasso, painted new age art.

 

I’ve done the big stunts of Kneivel,

Starred in many a Broadway show,

Fought in the UFC some call evil,

Won the grand slam twice in a row.

 

So take it from me this is all true

As I’ve lived it all through YouTube.

 

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Say No to Emojis

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Out, damned spot! Out, I say!

Be gone you little buggers

Page huggers

Geez, emojis!

What is the world coming to

when beautiful emotive words

become omnipresent dots?

Will our children learn

to use Symbols instead of Syllables?

Go LOL

Leave OMG

Out with Sad Face

You are the pesky

Seven Dwarfs of messages

So please refrain –

Like for cigarettes, wean yourself off using them

Go on an emoji fast, have an emoji-free month

Instead, express yourself with words

That’s right, words!

And, all I can say in closing, is

<insert the no to emoji emoji>

 

Ode to my Smartphone

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ODE TO MY SMARTPHONE

Dearest,

Our connection is so close

We talk all day, gossip

You organise me, tell me where to go

Remind me of events – birthdays, meetings

You sing to me, over 1,000 tunes

Do my banking, run my business

Tell me about the weather, sport, news

Play games with me, humour me

Take photos of me, come on my trips

Our attachment is so strong

You are My Wife

I mean, My Life.