The sun was setting in the west,
I could not drive much further,
My eyes were bleary, to stop was best,
“Safety first,” my mum I’d heard her.
I then drove through a tin-pot town,
You know the type with tumbleweed,
But lack of habitation made me frown,
All I wanted was a sleep and a feed.
There was nowhere to rest my weary head,
No Bed and Breakfast, not a hotel,
The next town I thought I would head,
But then I spied the ‘Lone Star Motel’.
Excited I knocked on the reception door,
Looking down I noted the ‘Welcome’ mat,
Finally a lady ambled across the floor,
Rollers in her hair, ciggy and a tatt.
“Are you on your own?” the lady said,
“I have to check if there’re vacancies,”
I pleaded, “Please only a feed and bed,
Your sign did not say ‘No Vacancies’.”
She checked whilst sucking on her smoke,
“Our tourist trade is running pretty hot,”
This comment almost made me choke,
As there were no cars in the parking lot!
“You are lucky, Luv,” the lady conceded,
“Number 5, you’re certainly in the hunt,
It has more than you would have needed,
But I need the money paid up front.”
“A restaurant?” my gut was starting to ache,
“Only room service,” the lady pursed her lips,
“For dinner, we have got chips and steak
And for breakfast it is steak and chips.”
It would have to do, I proceeded to pay,
And as I went out to await the tucker,
Plain as day I heard the lady say,
“Hey Harry, it is another city sucker.”
The first thing I noticed as I opened the door,
Was the smell, not that of lavender,
And was that tomato sauce on the floor?
I was hoping to not find a cadaver.
What’s more the TV was very blurry,
The AC didn’t work, the heat intense,
And around the bath was mould so furry,
‘Lone Star’, meaning one-star, was making sense.
“Room service,” the lady was at the door,
My chance to complain about the place,
As I was about to argue with great candour,
She said “Enjoy” closing the door in my face.
Alone I whiled away the hours to bed,
My phone had no signal, I played Solitaire,
This place was starting to do in my head,
It was like in a cell full of fetid air.
Sleep was how to deal with the yearning,
The bed bowed in the middle like a valley,
Midnight, one, two, me tossing and turning,
I felt destitute in some backstreet alley.
The chips and steak gurgled in my gut,
Sleep virtue of some painkilling drugs,
I had found respite from the Lone Star rut,
But then I dreamt of some giant bed bugs.
Groggy in the morning I handed in the key,
Too tired to rustle up any type of complain,
I was just glad to escape, be finally free,
And drive quickly across the wide open plain.
“How was it? I hope you enjoyed the room,”
She must have thought that I was a goon,
“I am sure you will be back here real soon,”
She smarmily sniggered as I left the room.
“No way,” I thought as I got into my car,
Pondering her final words would not be smart,
So I turned the key to escape the Lone Star,
But for some reason my car wouldn’t start.