TRASH RECYCLED Is this shady business? we’re all wearing dark glasses ‘SPAM’ tagged to our chests For some reason we all have a sneeze or sniffle In the ante room sitting nervously like at the dentist’s awaiting our fate for someone to hit the ‘Delete’ button Outcasts – all of us Let’s listen in to the Trash talking over there the cute blonde I’m Lenin oops I mean Lena cute Russian girl very single seeking man for good times why I here? cough And across from me that swarthy guy With the warmest of heart and fondest greeting; I trust that our friendship will not be fleeting; I understand that my contact may surprise: If it infringes your privacy, I apologise. My new dearest one and now most beloved; A moment to tell you of funds I have recovered; Will you offer me your trust and helping hand? My humble name: Dr Nana Nowayaskam. I am, friend, from the government of Nigeria (or was that Sierra Leone, Ghana or Algeria?); Dear One, listen to my most heartfelt proposition: I trust you will have no barriers or opposition. I offer you great wealth and a lifetime of riches (what is giving me fever, coughs and those itches?); I know the others are most abrupt and ingenuous But this offer, friend, is nothing short of ingenious. My colleagues are certain and totally unanimous That you, my friend, are the only one to help us; And so that we can transfer this large amount All we need are details of your bank account. Then, dearest, you will achieve the greatest wealth, Importance, fond love and the best of health; All this fortune for placing in me your trust; Let us seal the deal now – it has to be a must! So in considering this my most sincere request, Please think of why it is far better than the rest; There is one reason why it differs from this kind: None of the others have written it in rhyme. And the others: there’s a guy who rattles with pills whenever he moves another with a roulette wheel another from a bank or two And me I find it difficult to walk due to several let us say enhancements Will we end up in a a molten vat or a gas chamber? whoa! who pressed the ‘Delete’ trapdoor button? Floating a white light: is this the gateway to cyber-hell? No, there is a cyber-god! recycled I’m back with a gender change My dear friend let me tell you about myself: I am here to give you the greatest of help; A tale of woe with foreboding I must tell; My humble name: Mrs Betsy Noble La Belle. See my husband, an upstanding gent from the South Passed away suddenly, from cancer of the mouth, And as I may no longer be here due to ill health I thus wish to dispose of our substantial wealth. I offer you great wealth and a lifetime of riches (what is giving me fever, coughs and those itches?); I know the others are most abrupt and ingenuous But this offer, friend, is nothing short of ingenious... Trash or treasure? – trick or treat? What comes around goes around.
Once I had a hairy mop, A curly, furry crop, Hair today - gone tomorrow, Just one strand I’d like to borrow. My Kingdom for a hair, It really is not fair, Some have got it; Some have lost it, Why should I despair? Like Warnie, Loz and Mo, It’d be nice to buy a ‘fro, Even a hair here and there, There’s plenty out there to share! ‘Bald eagle’, ‘chrome dome’, There’s nothing on our pate, Yes, you don’t need a comb, But with the ladies we don’t rate. Some say ‘bald is beautiful’, Some say ‘bald are virile’, But trust me it’s all a ruse, Just a big excuse, We’re really only… man refuse. So c’mon baldies, let’s share the bare. O, Dome Sweet Dome!