A butterfly flew on by Flittered, fluttered Caught the eye It flew into the sky Blue, azure Flew so high Higher than I could spy Gutted, I muttered ‘I hope it will not die’. © Neil Dufty
Butterfly
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Turning 60
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When I turn Sixty – I’ll hike the Kokoda Trail (No way my body will fail), I’ll bound up the highest mountain, Frolic naked in a city fountain. And when I turn Sixty - I’ll photograph like a kid, No lines, wrinkles, nothing hid, My skin pristine, cheeks a flush, OK they might use the odd air brush. And when I turn Sixty - There’ll be no stopping me, Watch me climb the tallest tree, Hey, I will be the living proof Of the meaning of Eternal Youth. And when I turn Sixty - I’ll prove that being Sixty Is the new Fifty, Forty, Thirty, On the wrong side of middle age? No, Sixty’s got to be all the rage. But now that I’ve turned Sixty - I’ve started to feel a bit ditsy, Memories start to make me misty, And the old back is playing up, May be no longer the young pup. And now that I’ve turned Sixty - I think I’ll take Sixty lying down, Curl on the couch like a sleepy hound, Snooze, then pop open a can of VB, And watch adrenaline sports on TV. © Neil Dufty
The Pigeon
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What is the point of a pigeon? Have you ever pondered this thought? I’ve scanned the books, all religions, And believe this bird to be a rort. There you waddle, pecking at refuse; Fat head bobbles, you coo and scratch; And you can home (that’s no excuse); Those other birds you cannot match. But God must’ve something in His mind: A niche, a role for you my friend; In pity I wink, reason sure to find; Stop this poem reaching a sad end. But now white goo splatters my eye; Then a wink from pigeon up on high! © Neil Dufty
Runny nose poem
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RED, RED NOSE O my Love’s like my red, red nose, That’s newly sprung in June; O my Love’s like an allergy, That helps us snore in tune. Now you’re so cool, my bony lass, But so deep in snot am I; And I will love you still, my dear, Till all my sinuses go dry. Till all my sinuses go dry, my dear, And we can have some fun; But I will love you still, my dear, When again my nose does run. So see you soon my only Love, And see you, for a while! And I will come again, my Love, With one big snotty smile! (Author’s note: Apologies to Robert Burns for the take on his poem ‘Red, Red Rose’) © Neil Dufty
At a Barnes & Noble
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I met her at a Barnes & Noble I was young, she was much older Coo-coo-ca-choo, she behind a folder Our eyes then met, and I told her I’m looking for a book At a Barnes & Noble We made love in a Barnes & Noble It happened in the non-fiction section Between Religion or History on reflection No one noticed, no detection Only the books saw the action At a Barnes & Noble We were married at a Barnes & Noble It was literally a fine celebration Filled with friends and the odd relation Books and us – the ultimate creation Books hailed our matrimony At a Barnes & Noble Our children live in a Barnes & Noble Reading books is our only pastime Other kids play Xbox, games of that kind But this line I’m struggling to rhyme I will get the answer At a Barnes & Noble This poem is brought to you By Barnes & Noble ‘Book a Life’ At a Barnes & Noble. © Neil Dufty
A light at the end of the tunnel
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When the darkness is so overwhelming, Look to the stars above for some hope, The glow in the eyes of a child playing, Helping the mind restore and to cope. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, A hope to help lift us from despair, A hole for water to escape a funnel, Letting us out when the world’s unfair. You will enter a place of still solitude, Peace and quiet, solace from all the din, To get there you’ll need to show fortitude, As this nirvana you will find is within. © Neil Dufty
Perfection
StandardYou caught my eye as I ran on by I doubled back to take a look And in the shop you peered at me Statuesque, perfect in every way. Like Bo Derek in 10 a vision splendid Such style, such elegance a Sophia Loren The curves, the contours Angelina Jolie But then I noticed you did not move. © Neil Dufty
Old Hall
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We came from near and from far, To the hall at the end of the tar, To dance to Frank and his band, Far from war in another land. We waltzed long into the night, Till night gave way to first light, Two tops in a twirl and a spin, We danced with aplomb and a grin. We joined as one in barn dance, Chance to romance and to prance, We thought our life was just made, No chance of the bombs from a raid. We slipped to the back of the hall, None saw our stealth and our gall, Not to think of whether we should, We carved our love into the wood. the floor has sprung boarded windows clatter in wind like a percussion solo rats scuttle to their pit battered paint peels uncovering ‘Albie loves Essie’ a developer eyes the structure ‘Yeah, it’s a knockdown mate’. © Neil Dufty
A poem about cows and climate change
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A CHANGE IS IN THE WIND Belch! They’re watching us, these things called humans Pens out, monitoring our rumens Cows no fun Pointing their fingers, shuffling their sheets Murmuring about the planet’s heat Cows help sun Worried faces, showing their petulance About our burps and our flatulence Cows need bung Uttering words, most common ‘methane’ Hoping cows would kindly refrain Cow’s bad bum With a gut like a still, our only torment Grass sloshes around, slow ferment Cow’s big drum Big cows with balls are the worst offenders Blame males, that’ll help defend us Cows well hung They think it’s best to fit us with gas masks Give us new grass to stop the farts Cow’s new tum They’ll want us to dispose of our very own cow pats Placing them into underground vats Cows no dung See they carve us up or milk us bone dry Now they say we make all things fry Cows hard done And we’re so over all their bovine jokes Go away, pick on some ‘udder’ folk Cow bad pun And don’t they belch things out, that’s a fact What’s spewing from that factory stack? Cows not dumb See all we want to do is chew our cud Moo, poo, trudge though the mud Cows hum drum So it’s over, all of this crap is enough We’re taking a stand, getting so tough Cows done fun Let’s fight for ruminant freedom Run with the buffalo, the sheep Let’s herd together, fight to the end Cows are one Let’s stampede the Golden Arches Go on long protest marches Fight on beaches and on pastures Even take to air in the fastest Cow Top Gun And now the end is very near The day that all of us cattle fear The last to the abattoir is to be tanned Our fight was called ‘Muster’s Last Stand’ Cows out gunned So if this story shocks, scares and amazes That we Daisies could be ‘pushing up daisies’ Next time you question our windy emissions Consider the risk of milk and meat omissions Cow’s life done (Author’s note: It is reported that ruminants, including cows, are directly responsible for 6.3% of anthropogenic global warming. Apologies to Dana Lyons for using some ideas from his song ‘Cows with Guns’) © Neil Dufty
A poem on Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
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SHE:HE You never show me any emotion I’m always showing you devotion You do not even know how to try What do you want me to do? Cry? You so do not really understand Hey, I am only trying to be a man A nice gift, a little kiss on the lips What’s the problem? We go on trips Surprise me, be romantic, my honey I know, you want more of my money Wait, there’s someone I’ve got to text Let’s go and have wild, passionate sex You’re always trying to get me into bed Now you’re really playing with my head At least the girls they will shop with me And the boys they let me feel so free This long discussion is going so nowhere It’s an argument, you’re not being fair You’re shirty, you’ll now give me the snub That’s right, I’m off now down to the pub. I’m sorry, here are flowers to show I care Flowers, that’s a change, so very rare Can we kiss, make up, and get some food? Long as it’s not make out, not in the mood Let’s call it a truce? I will be there for you And I will try to accept you for being you. © Neil Dufty
Neil Dufty's stories and poems 