RED, RED NOSE
O my Love’s like my red, red nose,  
That’s newly sprung in June;  
O my Love’s like an allergy,  
That helps us snore in tune.  

Now you’re so cool, my bony lass, 
But so deep in snot am I; 
And I will love you still, my dear, 
Till all my sinuses go dry. 

Till all my sinuses go dry, my dear, 
And we can have some fun; 
But I will love you still, my dear, 
When again my nose does run. 

So see you soon my only Love, 
And see you, for a while!  
And I will come again, my Love, 
With one big snotty smile! 

(Author’s note: Apologies to Robert Burns for the take on his poem ‘Red, Red Rose’)

© Neil Dufty